So, like many before me, I appear to have fallen through a portal to another world.  I’ve been here in the land of Pallakein for a bit, but finally through some connections, odd circumstances, and making a bet with a wizard (I bet him he couldn’t do it), I’ve managed to get internet access through the portal, but I only seem to be able to get to the blog for now.

This appears to be a version of a medieval fantasy world, with the whole sword, sorcery, and adventuring thing going on.

But the adventurers here… let’s just say they could use some serious help.

Many of the ones I’ve run into here don’t seem to have any real training or common sense.  I’ve run into newbie gamers who had more sense and survivability than these guys.  And the veterans who do survive don’t see the point of taking time to train the newbies.

I’ve decided to help these guys out a bit, the best I can.  As a former scout, an engineer, and as a longtime reader and gamer, I have a pool of knowledge and passed down experience that these folks are sorely in need of.  I hold regular training sessions, mostly focusing on basic survival skills, general safety, some basic tactics and TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR SURROUNDINGS.

As part of my outreach to lower the adventurer mortality rate (and so I can actually trust people to have my back if I ever get out there myself again) I’ve been working on a guide.

Ral’s Guide To Adventuring

I’ve managed to find some paper and start writing and posting guidelines as they occur to me, which I plan to collect into a book.  I’m currently in the process of trading information and labor with some local tradespeople, with the hope of eventually reinventing the printing press here.

In the meantime, I’ll be posting some of my guidelines here.  Cheaper than working them out on paper in this day and age.

{This is a work of fiction for my own amusement, and hopefully the amusement of others.}

• Entry 8March 10, 2023

  Distribute useful items you find to where they will do the party the most good. Enhance strengths and/or cover weaknesses.

  We gave Wilhelm the boots of soft landings. Now his frequent falls have gone from being a source of concern to a source of comedy.

• Entry 7March 6, 2023

  Don’t let your loot be your death. Carry only what you can move with. Bulky and/or heavy items need to be easy to drop or remove.

  Stu, quit tying stuff to yourself with tight knots, or we might not be able to pull you up when you stumble off a cliff again.

• Entry 6March 3, 2023

  Keep your bandages and health potions easily accessible. Make sure you AND your party members know where you carry them.

  If you’re relying on others to have healing materials on hand… you might just bleed out while they panic.

• Entry 5February 27, 2023

  If someone yells stop, STOP. They may be aware of a danger you haven’t noticed yet.

  Poor Buckley doesn’t listen to the rogue, and keeps triggering things. Don’t be like Buckley.

• Entry 4February 24, 2023

  Pay attention to your surroundings. This includes above, below, behind, and all around you.

  Wilhelm, stop standing near the edge of things when combat has started. Yes, we will keep mocking your screams.